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That’s where the following practical suggestions come in.

Note the phrase “practical suggestions.” These are not sacrosanct biblical principles.

You’re trying to find out whether this is someone you should know more intimately en route to figuring out whether this is a person you could marry. You are trying to figure out if you to know this person intimately. One suggestion I have for couples starting out is that the majority of your time together should be spent with other people, preferably with your families and church families.

Get to know one another in groups, find out how the other person reacts to people, spend time with the people he or she cares about.

If nothing else, treating men who initiate well will encourage other men to initiate.

If a man initiates with you, ladies, think and pray and seek counsel before simply dismissing him.Then — in addition to actually thinking and praying about it — ask one of your pastors or elders whether he knows him and what he thinks.If the pastor or elder you ask doesn’t know him well, he can guide you to a trustworthy source that knows him better.If you feel that you are not initially attracted to a man who initiates with you, OK — but at least ask yourself why that is.Are you considering biblical characteristics in that decision?

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